Dear Drunk People

[Moozik: Iron Maiden - Wasted Years]

Please don't drink and then think it amusing to play "ring random phone numbers in the middle of the night". It's really not *that* funny afterall. So at approx 1:48am last night:

(Phone Rings)
Me (woken up and groggy): hello
Drunk Bloke: Who is this?
Me: Who is this?
DB: You just called me, so who is this?
Me: I just called you? Don't think so mate, you've got the wrong number.
(I hang up)

(Phone rings again 10 mins later after I've gone back to sleep)
Me (now a little annoyed): Hello
Drunk Bloke: Who is this?
Me: (lost all patience): Who the fu** is this?
DB: Why did you just call me?
Me: Look mate, you've now woken me up twice, I have not fuc**** called you.
DB (getting angry): I want to know why you just called me. Who is this?
Me: Oh for christ's sake, get a fuc**** life.
(I hang up)

(Phone rings 2 mins later, I am now wide-a-bloody-wake of course)
Me (friendly voice): Hello.
Drunk Bloke (clearly needing new material): Who is this?
Me: Ok you appear to be a having a hard time grasping the English language. I'll speak slower for you. You've now woken me up twice, I did not call you, I have no fuc**** idea who you are. Please go and enjoy a nice cup of shut the fuc* up.
(I hang up)

And that was that. The arsewipe had a caller-id block on his phone so I'm still none the wiser about who my drunken late night phone pal was.