When I Am Emperor

[Moozik: The Sisters of Mercy - Something Fast]

I've enjoyed reading chromatic's When I Am Emperor series of rants. To date, my fave has been DVD Commercial Inventors.

When I am emperor, I will find out who invented unskippable commercials that play automatically at the start of DVDs and I will force them to manage rooms full of dozens of toddlers who want to watch their movies but have to wait for ten to fifteen minutes of unskippable commercials to finish — commercials for other fun-looking, but truthfully inane, movies that aren't even out yet, or are no longer available. Then the toddlers will attempt to watch the same movie, but the power will keep going out five minutes into it, resetting the DVD player and forcing them to start over with the commercials.

All day.

Every day.

Toddlers.

It won't fix things, but I will feel better — and I don't even have children.