Results tagged “doomed”

It rains in Phoenix. Not very often, but it does rain. Usually our monsoon season accounts for the majority of our wet weather and adds plenty of thunder, lightning, and wind into the mix as well. Some of the storms are really quite impressive. The gutters at the front of our house mind you, slightly less so.

You see, the architect of our house was frustrated with that age old problem of rain being directed from your roof to the ground in an inconspicuous area at the side of the house. He decided to fix it. Because, obviously, that design is a bit crap. What everyone wants is for their gutters to direct the runoff water onto the path right in front of their doorway. That makes so much more sense.

I'd say he succeeded admirably. For ensuring that people coming and going have the optimum chance of getting completely soaked is exactly what you want from your gutters after all.

I grew up in a small town somewhere just a little south and just a little east of "the middle of England". When I first started driving, it was all about little country roads. Then slightly bigger roads into the slightly bigger towns. Then bigger trips up and down the Motorway to cities far and wide.

The first time I drove in Cambridge was an eye opening experience. The first time I drove in London was an eye opening experience. These were not the little country roads anymore. Before long I was shouting and giving obscene gestures to other drivers along with the best of them. Just like you did. It's a driver's rite of passage. Or something.

I left the shores of dear old Blighty to live in Italy for a couple of years and realized British drivers were amazing, stellar, perfectionists. Driving in Italy amounted to what I can best describe as total anarchy. A stop sign does not actually mean stop. A fact I learned from a rather nice Italian chap who gave me some polite advice after almost running into the back of me. I'm pretty sure it was polite advice, he gave me hand signals and seemed very enthusiastic.

The big jump across the pond followed and I began my driving adventure in the US. One thing I learned almost immediately, drivers in America are aggressive. Well, maybe I should qualify that. Drivers in Phoenix are aggressive. The first time I tried the simple task of merging onto a Freeway was all rather entertaining. The idiot trying to have me take part in an awesome-off by refusing to let me in actually taught me a valuable lesson though. There's no such thing as driver's etiquette here. It's every driver for themselves.

Fast forward to today and I don't get stressed out about the driving here at all. Life is too short to let your blood boil about things so trivial. Now I just assume everyone around me is a homicidal maniac ready to flip out at any time and I let them get on with it. Ignorance really is bliss. Don't pay any attention to the douche nice driver next to you, in front of you, or behind you. Just go with the flow, turn that music up, and smile.

If you're anything like me, you love comment spam. Love it. And by love it I mean want to punch yourself in the face. Just recently I've seen a marked increase and while I think it's amusing that 'Ivan Trench Coats' is leaving me a comment, it is getting a little time consuming to remove it.

Movable Type itself does an ok job detecting and junking spam but some still sneaks though. I can't tell if it's automated or if someone is manually typing it in. So what to do? Turn on moderation for all comments? That's a bit of a pain in the arse so before I take that final step I'm going to give Jay Allen's Comment Challenge plugin a whirl.

So now when leaving a comment you'll just have to enter a little word.

Update: I haven't had a single spam comment since installing Comment Challenge. So I'm going to tentatively say that it did the trick.

Movie Of The Year

We went to see Inception at the weekend. So very very good. I don't remember the last time I had that sitting on the edge of my seat feeling when watching a movie. As it finished everyone around us let out a little sigh, and there was clapping. Been a while since I've been in a cinema when people clapped at the end. I know some people say it wasn't that good. But what do they know? Go watch it forthwith. 10/10

Living In A Flyover State

As tour schedules for bands come out I often get excited especially if it's a band I haven't seen before. Unfortunately because of where I live, just because a band is on tour, doesn't mean I'll get to see them. For Arizona is one of those pesky flyover states that bands like to avoid. If you live in LA or New York you're golden. Arizona is all a bit hit & miss. Take Interpol for example. Their tour schedule came out today. Notice anything missing? Phoenix maybe? Grrr.

Being Brown

Unless otherwise shutdown by federal judge, SB1070 goes into effect at midnight tonight. If it does, it will be a very very sad day for Arizona indeed. Not our finest hour.

Update: parts of SB1070 have indeed been blocked.

As I was sitting in the mechanic's waiting room anticipating the return of my car last night I couldn't help but notice the TV. Not because the volume was loud enough to kill several small Elephants, and not because it was tuned to Fox either.

Never in my life have I had to painfully sit through that many commercials for pharmaceutical products or ambulance chasers. I guess when I'm watching Cable TV at home I tune them out or go make some coffee. It's all a bit sad really to think we've turned into a nation of pill popping lawsuit happy idiots.

"Ask your Dr if Flibquizzononel is right for you". No I won't, he's the Dr, I shouldn't be telling him which drugs to prescribe. And good lord, the side effects. "Causes abdominal pain, swelling, brain tumor, and your leg might fall off". Sounds lovely.

"In a crash? Need some cash?". Erm, no, but thanks for asking. I'm probably not going to take any legal advice from two blokes who look like they should be selling used cars. You should try to catch the small print the next time those are on. I'm thinking not licensed in the State of Arizona isn't really a good sign.

And those Bears. Little buggers they are. Bears.

You know how you have that one moment on the internet where your sense of humor says cheerio for a bit and you post something you regret? Something that makes you seem like your head is well and truly up your own arse? You do? Oh good, because for me, that moment was yesterday on Twitter.

But I guess in a sense it's not all bad because at least I got someone whose face adorned my bedroom wall as a teenager to call me Mr Miserable. An ex-member of The Cure Mr Roger O'Donnell. That's @rogerodonnell to you Twitterers.

It went a bit like this.

Roger posted:

"OK so Im using Qwitter now, any of you losers dump me and Ill know all about it ... So watch it ! http://useqwitter.com/"

Which, while utterly hilarious, went way over my head and you could actually hear that wooosh noise. So, what else was captain spencer-no-fun to do but reply:

"@rogerodonnell bit of advice mate, insulting people that follow you is not necessarily the optimal way to ensure they stick around."

Which I kinda regretted as soon as I hit that magic send button. Don't you hate that? I hoped figured he'd just ignore it. But he didn't:

"@kevin_spencer Seems my sense of humour is lost on you, will you be my first Qwitter? Go on you know you want to, theres a prize..."

And then of course because I absolutely don't know how to quit when I'm being a douche ahead, I unfollowed:

"@rogerodonnell done. That was easy wasn't it?".

And that was that. Well, not quite, he wasn't quite done yet:

"Wow I feel like Ive just been in a fight up the pub hahaha Some people are very touchy aren't they? Oh well never mind, hope he's happy now"

And then:

"But wait, now Mr Miserable has gone I wont know where to send the prize!"

I think my life is now somewhat complete.

Oh, and the irony of someone who used to be in The Cure calling me Mr Miserable is not lost on me ;-)

Update: and in a surprise twist, Roger suggested we put this all behind us. Which is fair enough and quite unexpected actually. So I accepted. The whole thing still makes me smile though.

As I was listening to a car alarm switch itself off and on at various intervals yesterday I got to thinking how effective they really are.

I think when they first became common we all took notice when we heard one go off. We were good neighbours and wanted to apprehend the criminal red handed.

"quick, someone is trying to steal their car".

Now, if you're anything like me, whenever you hear a car alarm go off these days you couldn't care less. In fact, you're actually quite annoyed.

"ugh, I wish they'd turn that bloody car alarm off".

I guess it's a shame that car alarms turned out to be overly sensitive and were all boy who cried wolfy.

In the last couple of weeks the wall by the side of our house has been adorned with the most fabulous examples of street art. And by fabulous I mean worst I've ever seen in my whole life.

Look, I like street art or graffiti as much as the next lover of, er, street art and graffiti but really, if you're going to take the time to spray, at least do something good.

Clearly no Banksy. What is going on with that 'T' at the end anyway?

And I really don't know what we've ever done to Bitch Posey but I'm thankful that Pearl brought this pressing matter to our attention.

As a general rule of thumb, I don't blog about politics anymore. Except for when I do. And this is a little too close to home to not mention it. So here goes.

Recently the Arizona legislature passed an anti-illegal-immigration bill. In a nutshell, SB1070 makes it a misdemeanor to lack proper immigration paperwork in Arizona. It also requires police officers, if they form a "reasonable suspicion" that someone is an illegal immigrant, to determine the person's immigration status.

What I find extremely troubling about this is the question of how "reasonable suspicion" is determined. How exactly are police officers going to decide when to ask for "papers please"? The potential for racial profiling here is mind boggling. Is the fact that someone speaks with an accent or has brown skin going to be the deciding factor?

The reason I care so much is because my girlfriend is of Hispanic descent. Anywhere "papers please" can be demanded just because of the color of her skin is not somewhere I'm going to be happy living. In fact if that happens, I'm going to be very angry indeed. My blood is already boiling just thinking about it.

Now, Americans really don't have "papers" to begin with. I mean, what would she show an officer if he questioned her immigration status? She doesn't have a passport, and are Americans with brown skin really supposed to carry their birth certificate around with them now? That's not racist at all.

The Governor of Arizona has until this weekend to decide what to do with the bill. All odds are that she will let it go through, she is a Republican after all, and Republicans can't appear to be soft on immigration. Sigh. It will certainly mark a sad day for our state if she does.

I can only hope my concerns turn out to be completely unwarranted and we don't end up on the receiving end of a "papers please" demand.

You know, for when SPF 75 just isn't cutting the mustard anymore, behold, SPF 110.

I'm pretty sure SPF 110 is a blanket. I'm also pretty sure that if you need SPF 110, you probably shouldn't be going outside. Ever. For you are, in fact, a Vampire.

When the Zombies come, and believe me they're coming, I know where I'm heading first.

Then we'll be barricading ourselves in the local Costco. So if you're in Phoenix and a survivor, remember the secret knock on the Costco door and I'll let you in.

You're welcome.

Dear Zombies, I was totally kidding about the whole Costco thing. Really. We're probably in that field up in a tree in the total opposite direction. Honest.

I've developed quite a relationship with photography over the past couple of years. I've gone from taking the same-old photos of vacations to shoot anything and everything in quite a short time. I now count photography as one of my favorite hobbies.

Like other amateur photographers, I carry my camera around with me almost everywhere I go. You can never tell when that something interesting will come along - being able to shoot anything on the spur of the moment is probably some of the most fun you can have with a camera.

But what if you couldn't shoot whatever you wanted? What if that was forbidden? What if you were considered a subversive, a criminal, an evil-doer bent on doing harm with the terrifying angle of your lens? Sounds silly right? All a bit far-fetched and something out of movie perhaps? Well, for photographers in the UK, it's becoming a scary reality.

If you have a few minutes, go have a peek at an article in The Guardian describing police harassment of a photographer. The bloke in question was smart enough to film his own arrest and it's well worth your time to go give the video a watch.

It's truly mind boggling that the world has come to this. It's beyond moronic to think that everyone taking photos in a town center is plotting harm. In fact I'll call it what it is: bullshit. Some people, like me, just like taking photos. That's it. No agenda. We just like it.

I wonder how this is going to play out in 2012 when London hosts the Olympics. Are tourists & spectators going to be treated as criminals as they take pics in the streets? Are you going to have to declare your camera when you enter the country? Register for some kind of photography license? Hold a concealed weapon camera permit?

If you're anything like me, you love visiting good record shops to browse through their selection of music. Over the years I've spent countless hours and countless sums of money doing just that.

For close to four decades, Phoenix has had a rather excellent independent music shop called circles: discs & tapes. Lovely place it is with amazing friendly staff.

Alas, as is the case with independent music shops nowadays, it will soon be no more.

This saddens me as places like this have a special place in my heart. I don't want to browse through new releases at a Best Buy or Target with teenage staff who couldn't care less. I love being able to browse through old albums and chat with actual knowledgeable staff who love music just as much as I do.

I know it can only be a matter of time before all shops like this are but a faint memory. I wonder how odd it will seem to future generations that we actually had physical buildings we walked into and left with an actual physical product before we could listen to music.

Wow, that made me sound really old. So I guess you young kids should get off my lawn now.

So, the last minute panic present buying is now complete. What awaits tonight is a relaxing drink and bite to eat at The Auld Dubliner. Looking forward to a nice Christmas and celebrating Boxing Day this year.

To you dear reader, I wish you all the best and leave you with this very important message at this time of the year.

Just why are...

...those Brits...

...those Americans...

...and the French...

[Moozik: Inspiral Carpets - Joe]

It seems like only in America can you...

...have Mimosas for breakfast...

...a beer or two in the afternoon...

...then go buy your assault weapon of choice...

[Moozik: Android Lust - Kingdom Of One]

Growing up in England means that you miss out on all kinds of nasty things. I mean, for one, there are no natural disasters. No tornadoes, no hurricanes, no earthquakes, no volcanoes. And there really aren't that many poisonous creepy crawlers to worry about.

Now, compare that to the US. We've got all the natural disasters taken care of. And we sure have our fair share of creepy crawling goodies. Last year at my old house I had a couple of Black Widow Spider nests on my front porch that were fun to get rid of.

This year, new house, new creepy crawlers. We've had some decent sized spiders appear in the house and I've killed them. My better half goes off screaming while I grab a paper towel and go a squishing. All good right? Well yeah, until we found a scorpion in the laundry room. And then another one in the garage last week.

I don't mind killing them but it's a little worrying when you've got a little one sleeping in her bed close by. So, we're having the exterminators of doom come out to the house next week to, well, exterminate I guess. Die crawlers, die.

[Moozik: This Ascension - Exhibition]

I'm 11 years into the great America experience and at 35, have spent the majority of my adult life here. Of all the little teeny cultural differences I experienced after crossing the pond, I've gotten used to and have completely embraced every single one. Well, that's not entirely true actually for there's still one thing I haven't gotten used to.

Guns.

Wanna go play with some? You sure can, and take your pick. For pawn shops, sporting goods stores, specialized gun dealers, and gun shows will give you your fill of all shapes and sizes from the tiniest of handguns to huge hunting rifles. If you've never been to a gun shop, you certainly should go as it's an eye opening experience.

But it's not just the fact that you can buy guns seemingly on any street here in Arizona, the thing that always amuses me are the carrying rules. I kid you not sometimes it's as if we're still in the wild west. While you're not allowed to carry a concealed weapon without a permit, it's perfectly ok to have one in a holster attached to your belt in plain sight.

So it's not at all uncommon to go into any shop and see someone walking around with a gun on their hip. I dunno, maybe it's the 20+ years of growing up in a country that doesn't allow you to just ponce around with a gun in a holster, but I'm just not sure why you would want to do that. I mean, sure, it's not illegal, but just because you could, doesn't always mean you should. Is it just the ' do you see how tough I am, I have a gun' thing?

I have visions of getting into an argument with a gun carrying Phoenician and sorting the whole thing out at 50 paces. In fact this does play into a lot of temper inducing situations. Someone cut you off in traffic? Be careful who you flip the bird to as they could very well brandish that new .44 Magnum freshly purchased at Uncle Willy's gun emporium.

Anarchy I tell you. Anarchy. Now if you'll excuse me, there are some sweet shotguns I want to go play with.

[Moozik: Hanzel Und Gretyl - Blut! Sex! Fire!]

I don't know about you but whenever I'm buying my guns I try to make sure I get a guitar as well.

Because that's how I roll.

When you're buying your guns, what do you like to pair them with?

[Moozik: Sheep On Drugs - Chasing Dreams]

Got this in the mail today. A stark reminder of why my neighbours wisely watch their kids while outside playing.

A level 3 offender is someone deemed as high risk to the community and these types of notifications in the mail are mandatory.

The bloke in question actually lives round the corner. Lovely.

On August 22, 1991, the offender was convicted of Attempted Sexual Conduct and Attempted Molestation of a Child. The offender attempted to molest two nine-year-old victims, who were known to him. The offender is on lifetime probation.