Results tagged “life.”

I saw a young homeless man begging for change outside a gas station today. I felt bad because I didn't have any money on me. "Do you take debit cards?" is probably not what he wants to hear. So I offered my lackluster apology and walked on by.

When I was younger I used to go into London on the train. I remember putting my hands in my pockets for the never ending parade of people asking for change in the tube stations. I never gave that much, just a few pence here and there. But it felt like I was helping. For whatever that was worth.

Nowadays I struggle with the decision to give anything. I know they could be scamming. After a hard day's begging, they could go get in their car and drive home to their family. And deep down I guess I know that my change probably isn't going towards food. I dunno, perhaps I can live with that. Perhaps today is the day they won't go hungry. Or something.

I managed to stab myself in the face with my own car door. Not necessarily an easy task to be sure. I was getting my laptop bag from the back seat of my car and as I bent down, somehow my face came into contact with that pointy bit of the car door at the top. That was a good time.

Because I'm far too cheap to go next door and buy coffee when I'm at the office, I make my own. I boil the water in the microwave and then walk slowly and surely back to my desk to finish up. I was doing fine until I sat down and then sort of did a spaz thing with my arm and burned my hand on the water that came out of the jug. That was a good time.

So I'm now wondering what else today holds for me. I can hardly wait. Clumsy Spencer is clumsy.

The other day one of our neighbors rang our doorbell. Well, not really a neighbor exactly, for this young lady lived a street behind ours. Or so. Maybe. For the description of where she lived was quite confusing. Hazel did one of those uh-huh things. You know, the kind of uh-huh when you have no clue what the person is saying but don't really care enough to further the point. Yeah, that.

Anyway, the lady wanted to know if we had dogs and if so, were they routinely outside at 10:00pm every night. Apparently she has to get up early in the mornings and doesn't sleep particularly well. The bane of her existence are dogs that bark at 10:00pm every night.

So Hazel explained that while the dogs are kept indoors, they do have to be let out every once in a while to do their, er, business. So yes, it's entirely possible that they could be outside at 10:00pm from time to time. We have a public pathway beside our house on the other side of our wall and if they hear anyone, there's also a good chance they could bark before we call them back in the house.

I didn't think that was entirely unreasonable. They are dogs after all. Dogs do tend to bark if they're startled or if they hear something strange. Apparently that is extremely unreasonable. For our neighbor then asked if we had thought about getting electric shock collars to stop them barking.

Yeah, because that's going to happen.

First of all, we aren't the only people who have dogs in our neighborhood. Are you sure you're hearing ours? When I'm outside I hear dogs bark but never once I'm inside the house. I dunno, maybe you could try one the following.

Close your windows.
Earplugs.
Sleeping pills.
Music.
Leave the TV on.
3 bottles of wine.
Sledgehammer.
Sleep in another room.
Move.

That sounds reasonable to me. Giving my dogs an electric shock when you don't even know if they're the ones waking you up? Not so much.

So then it was all a bit awkward, the lady wasn't satisfied, we weren't budging. So she walked off. We haven't heard any more from her. I suspect we won't.

A few months back I mentioned that I wasn't reading anymore and wondered why.

I think the main culprit is probably that ole favorite, not enough time. But that's a shame as I know I like reading, used to like reading anyway. So what to do? Well, I guess I make time for it. Just pick up a book and start. Tonight. I'll try that tonight.

Yeah, that worked out well. But you know what, last week I did finally pick up a book and I'm actually reading once more. So, better late than never right?

So what author did I choose, what epic tome did I pick to start my reading adventure anew? That's right, I chose a book from that bastion of American literature, Dan Brown. The Lost Symbol.

Here's the thing, and I'm going to let you in on a bit of a secret so gather round kids. Dan Brown is not the best writer on the planet. Dan Brown is, as they say, a bit crap. His chapter ending cliff hangers make me want to gouge my eyes out with a spork.

"...and then it hit him like a tonne of bricks."

"...no, surely this couldn't be that one thing could it?"

"...it was clear that Robert Langdon had to go pee.

And yet, I'm still reading his bloody book. He's still managed to keep me engrossed in the story. I'm still turning the pages. And therein lies the crux of this little head scratcher. If he's so bad, why am I still immersed in his story? Why do I not just try another book?

Maybe the problem isn't Dan Brown. Maybe the problem is me. Maybe I just love a bit of bad writing now and then. I mean, we all have our guilty pleasures right? We all watch that TV show we're too embarrassed to admit. We all have that song on our iPod.

This is just the dead tree version of that. Which is something I think I've just talked myself into being ok with.

I'm a Spencer through & through. No, really I am. And we Spencers do tend to worry. Sometimes about silly things, sometimes not so much. For the past couple of weeks, it's been something rather important. But luckily, today marks a day of relief, of weights being lifted, and a grin on my face.

At the beginning of last month my Mum developed a rather raspy voice. As a lifelong smoker, this worried her Doctor somewhat. She went to see a specialist who, upon examining her throat with a scope thingy, found "something to cause concern" on her vocal chords. A couple of weeks ago a biopsy was taken and sent away for testing.

Longest two week wait. Ever. In your mind you go from "well maybe it's nothing" to "maybe it's something, but they can remove it" to the inevitable "maybe it's something and it's bad". Today we got the results back.

Not only is it not bad, it's not even something that needs to be surgically removed. It's just a fungal infection that will clear up nicely with some medicine. I'm sure that sound you heard earlier on was the sound of my relief hitting me with a sledgehammer.

Still, there's an upside too all of this. She hasn't smoked once since the beginning of June.

You know how you have that one moment on the internet where your sense of humor says cheerio for a bit and you post something you regret? Something that makes you seem like your head is well and truly up your own arse? You do? Oh good, because for me, that moment was yesterday on Twitter.

But I guess in a sense it's not all bad because at least I got someone whose face adorned my bedroom wall as a teenager to call me Mr Miserable. An ex-member of The Cure Mr Roger O'Donnell. That's @rogerodonnell to you Twitterers.

It went a bit like this.

Roger posted:

"OK so Im using Qwitter now, any of you losers dump me and Ill know all about it ... So watch it ! http://useqwitter.com/"

Which, while utterly hilarious, went way over my head and you could actually hear that wooosh noise. So, what else was captain spencer-no-fun to do but reply:

"@rogerodonnell bit of advice mate, insulting people that follow you is not necessarily the optimal way to ensure they stick around."

Which I kinda regretted as soon as I hit that magic send button. Don't you hate that? I hoped figured he'd just ignore it. But he didn't:

"@kevin_spencer Seems my sense of humour is lost on you, will you be my first Qwitter? Go on you know you want to, theres a prize..."

And then of course because I absolutely don't know how to quit when I'm being a douche ahead, I unfollowed:

"@rogerodonnell done. That was easy wasn't it?".

And that was that. Well, not quite, he wasn't quite done yet:

"Wow I feel like Ive just been in a fight up the pub hahaha Some people are very touchy aren't they? Oh well never mind, hope he's happy now"

And then:

"But wait, now Mr Miserable has gone I wont know where to send the prize!"

I think my life is now somewhat complete.

Oh, and the irony of someone who used to be in The Cure calling me Mr Miserable is not lost on me ;-)

Update: and in a surprise twist, Roger suggested we put this all behind us. Which is fair enough and quite unexpected actually. So I accepted. The whole thing still makes me smile though.

About 18 months or so ago, ish, Hazel talked me into growing a beard. Not convinced I wouldn't look like a total wanker, I hesitantly agreed. And you know what, I sort of liked it after a while.

Then a teeny bit of beard boredom set in and I began to think Grizzy Adams. Something a little more cast away on a desert island kind of thing. You know, like you do. Back in January I pondered...

I've had a beard for about, hmm, 10 months now. I like it. But you know what I'd really like? I'd like one of those 2 foot beards, all cast away on a desert island kind of thing. That would be cool.

Yeah, so er, obviously that didn't happen.

But I haven't used those beard clipper thingies now for about two weeks and it's starting to look a little scruffy, a little survivor, a little trapped in a log cabin.

So I'm at one of those beard crossroads. Trim or go for the gold? The time could be right to give it a whirl...

On Friday night we went to see Knight And Day. My immediate reaction was something approaching meh. It wasn't that it was a bad movie. It just wasn't particularly good. I mean, the CGI action scenes were awfully well done, and the live action stunts were impressive. But take those out and you're left with, well, not very much really. Save your money, go see Toy Story 3 instead.

I suppose I could end this blog post right there. A nice one paragraph movie round up. But I would be remiss if I didn't mention that Grandad Spencer here dozed off halfway through the flim. I can come to two possible conclusions as to why that was. (1) the movie was actually worse than I thought and was in fact an actual snoozefest. Or (2), I'm getting old and have officially become my Dad - whose powers of cinema sleepery are stuff of legend. I think it might just be because I'm getting old.

I've noticed a couple of other little niggling signs that I'm not a spring chicken anymore. My short term memory is absolutely atrocious. I'll be in the shower and think to myself, did I wash my face already?. I'll be walking into my office building and think did I lock the car?. I'll be walking back from the local park and think did I bring the little one with me. Ok I'm totally kidding on that last one, I'd never walk back from the park.

So yeah, I'm going with age. And it absolutely wasn't all the pizza and beer we consumed before walking across the street to the cinema. No, that can't have been it at all.

As I was listening to a car alarm switch itself off and on at various intervals yesterday I got to thinking how effective they really are.

I think when they first became common we all took notice when we heard one go off. We were good neighbours and wanted to apprehend the criminal red handed.

"quick, someone is trying to steal their car".

Now, if you're anything like me, whenever you hear a car alarm go off these days you couldn't care less. In fact, you're actually quite annoyed.

"ugh, I wish they'd turn that bloody car alarm off".

I guess it's a shame that car alarms turned out to be overly sensitive and were all boy who cried wolfy.

There are some things I'm ok at, some things I'm above average at, and even a couple of things I'm good at. But no matter how hard I try, there are just some things that I'm completely and utterly crap at.

Parallel Parking

To this day I cannot parallel park for poo. I'm lucky that in both my British and American driving tests, I was never asked to perform this seemingly impossible feat. I bow to driving geniuses the world over who pull off such a daring maneuver on a daily basis. You rock.

Engines

When I was younger I absolutely couldn't care less about car maintenance. As long as my car got me from A to B I was happy. Who had time for that boring poo when there were video games, concerts, girlfriends, sports, and beer? Of course I'm kicking myself now and wish I'd taken an interest back in the day. Now whenever I open the bonnet hood, I may as well be conducting brain surgery for all the sense it makes.

CSS

Ah, our old friend cascading style sheets. Every time I get the wild notion to tweak something on this site (like, er, today), I start messing around with templates and then end up having to modify the CSS as well. And you know what? I have no idea what I'm doing. But I tell you one thing I am good at - randomly editing the css file and utilizing the great powers of trial and error to get things looking how I want. I guess that's why I write software for a living and don't design anything visual. Which leads nicely onto...

Anything Artistic

I don't have an artistic bone in my body. Can't draw a straight line with a ruler and the thought of sitting down in front of a canvas with a paint brush just gives me the willies. I do love art though and could happily spend hours in a gallery. Turns out there's a big difference between being able to spot and appreciate something nice, and actually being able to do it. And I certainly cannot do it.

So, if you had to be brutally honest, what things are you just not very good at?

Well, sometimes all you need is one word.

• One word movie review - Shrek Forever After: good.

• One word weather forecast: hot. (110° yo)

• One word concert announcement: Pixies. (hell yeah I said Pixies - woohoo)

• One word iPhone 4 reaction: drool.

• One word music review - How To Destroy Angels EP: amazing.

• One word describing 12 year old staying with us for the weekend: tiring.

• One word reaction to oil covered wildlife: anger.

Well, at least that's how we lovingly refer to him. We're good like that, and he doesn't seem to mind. And bless his heart, he spent the better part of three hours the other night at the emergency animal clinic.

Over the years I dread to think how much money I've spent on him. He's the most expensive and pampered dog in history. And twice a day he rattles when he takes these.

It's a bloody good thing he doesn't mind taking pills. That pill popper.

I was drinking some rather nice afternoon coffee when my mind began to focus on chocolate.

You know, I think I could live entirely on things beginning with the better c.

Crackers, coca-cola, chocolate, chips, cake, cookies, coffee, cheese, crisps, chicken, crepes, cereal, cheeseburger.

Now, if only Guinness was spelled Cuinness I'd be all set really.

A little over a year ago, I made a little announcement.

Firstly my other half and I have decided to move in together. Exciting stuff. We've been house hunting for the past 3 weeks and found somewhere nice last week. I move at the end of the month and she'll move after that. Going to be super busy but I absolutely cannot wait. More to follow obviously as this month unfolds.

And this week marks a milestone for us, our first year of living together. What an amazing year it has been. We're happier today than at any point, we've learned a lot about each other, and I've learned a lot about myself.

First and foremost, I've learned that I have a greater amount of patience and understanding with children than I ever could have imagined. When I was younger I was firmly in the 'I'm never having kids' camp. If you'd told me 5 years ago I'd now be responsible for a child, I would have laughed at you.

But being around my girlfriend's little one has taught me so many things. And I've taught her so many things. It just came naturally to me, and never felt like a big effort. It just works. It works for all of us.

The little one, never one to back down from some fisticuffs.

My better half, still categorically refusing to allow any photos of her on them interweb things.

So here's to another year. I can't wait for it.

• Happy Cinco de Mayo everyone. Or as @kapgar retweeted earlier...

...which made me giggle. So, as you do, I'll be having a beer for you all tonight to celebrate. You're welcome.

• Trent Reznor's new project, How To Destroy Angels posted their first track online yesterday: A Drowning. I love it, and I think you will to. Either that or you won't but that's what you get for listening to me ;-)

• Date Night one word movie review: disappointing.

• Cinema we watched movie in one word popcorn review: AWESOME.

• Our local NBA Basketball team, Phoenix Suns, are going to wear their 'Los Suns' jerseys tonight to protest Arizona's immigration law. Which is cool.

• The user interface for dropbox is really really nice. If you need to share files with anyone, I heartily recommend it. Free accounts max out at 2GB but it's perfect for sharing photos with family.

A few years back I created a Facebook account. It was fun as I added people I'd known 20 years ago back in School, got to say hello and catch up. For the most part it was good, well, as long as you ignored all the bloody invitations, pokes, quizzes, "are you a vampire", "what tree does your leg look like" type stuff.

But something else happened along the way.

Recently I think I've become uncomfortable with Facebook in general. With their ever changing privacy policy, the muddy rules on what data of yours they own, and their new found desire to be the web for all people, I realized I kinda disliked the the idea of Facebook's walled garden in principle.

So just over a week ago I deleted my account. Not the deactivate account thingy in your settings (that does nothing). The actual permanently delete your account, wait two weeks, and it's gone thingy.

To be honest this isn't really that big of a deal. I rarely used it anyway. In fact in the past 12 months, I think I've probably only really logged in twice. If that.

Nilsa's books post this morning got me thinking. I'm really not entirely sure when I decided I didn't like reading anymore. I don't think it was ever a conscious decision, but I can think of no other explanation for why I just don't read books. At all. Ever.

It's not for lack of anything to read either for I have no end of books that I just need to get to at some point. Got a whole bunch of them for Christmas and do you think I've even looked at any of them? Of course not.

One of them I'd been looking forward to reading to for ages. See? It's still sitting in the the exact same place it was when I took this pic.

I think the main culprit is probably that ole favorite, not enough time. But that's a shame as I know I like reading, used to like reading anyway. So what to do? Well, I guess I make time for it. Just pick up a book and start. Tonight. I'll try that tonight.

Could happen.

The vacation is now but a blur. They say pictures speak louder than words though right? Or is that actions? I can never remember, so let's just say it's pictures.

I'm going to write something a little longer about some of these in the coming days. But for now, a quick whirlwind pikcha recap.

Tan

Native

Monster

Eat

Drink

Stay

Drive

Pose

Backdrop

Cowboy

Wild

You know how you do something, mean to write a blog post about it, then let 5 months go by without actually writing anything?

You do? Good, because this is one of those.

Last October, while my Sister visited, we decided to get tattoos. Her first, my third. Now, there are two important and puzzling decisions to be made when getting a tattoo. Firstly, what the hell should you get? Secondly, where the hell should it go?

For me, the decision of what to get was actually rather easy. Because I'm going to become an American citizen at some point, I thought is was important to remember where you came from so to speak. I'd wanted to get a Union Jack for some time so it was a no-brainer.

So that just left the where the hell should it go? problem. That one was a little more tough and I had a couple of places in mind. In the end though, I chose the calf of my left leg.

Pics or it didn't happen:

Now that 5 months have gone by, do I think number 4 will happen anytime soon? Perhaps. After getting my first one a few years back, the artist said "welcome to your new addiction". I can see why.

Last week we rented a minivan to carry the six of us, plus wheelchair, and a stroller. It worked out really well. In fact, should the need arise, I highly recommend the Chrysler Town & Country.

Prior to picking up the minivan though, we drove around in two cars for a while. Which also worked out quite well. And by "well" I mean, getting a matching pair of speeding tickets in the space of 3 seconds.

My better half was in front, so she was first...

...so I thought it was only fair to get one as well. You know, as you do...

So that was nice. $181.50 x 2. Go us!

Protip: there are signs on the side of the road that (1) tell you what the speed limit actually is and (2) tell you that a speed camera is approaching. No really. Who knew? Ahem.

Now, astute readers may remember that I promised to slow down last year. I did try. Honest I did.